2003-11-25

I find myself missing Emily Harrison. Emily was a good friend, albeit a bit on the annoying side,

but a good friend nonetheless. The problem is when I see her or hear her name or see anything

that reminds me of her (i.e. her mom) it brings back way too many memories that I’m not sure

that I want to deal with. Soooo many things happened at Emily’s house...mostly good....some

not-so-good....all very painful to think about. Even the happy memories live in the shadows of bad

ones. So I’ll choose to avoid her. I’m not strong enough to relive all that happened, and besides,

I’m a different person now. I have a new life and none of those people are in it. You know, there

are times when I feel like I may have gathered the strength to talk to her or even Brett himself.

But then I buckle. I geek out at the thought of being in the same room with him. Not a pretty

sight. And what about Jarrod? The only times I’ve talked to him since all of our craziness was

when we were randomly “hooking up” with each other. And of course that was oh-so-healthy. All

right, I can’t talk about it anymore. I really miss the way things were, but I’m also very happy

now. There’s no way that either of them could have given me a healthy stable life like the one I’m

in.