2003-11-25

I find myself missing Emily Harrison. Emily was a good friend, albeit a bit on the annoying side,

but a good friend nonetheless. The problem is when I see her or hear her name or see anything

that reminds me of her (i.e. her mom) it brings back way too many memories that I�m not sure

that I want to deal with. Soooo many things happened at Emily�s house...mostly good....some

not-so-good....all very painful to think about. Even the happy memories live in the shadows of bad

ones. So I�ll choose to avoid her. I�m not strong enough to relive all that happened, and besides,

I�m a different person now. I have a new life and none of those people are in it. You know, there

are times when I feel like I may have gathered the strength to talk to her or even Brett himself.

But then I buckle. I geek out at the thought of being in the same room with him. Not a pretty

sight. And what about Jarrod? The only times I�ve talked to him since all of our craziness was

when we were randomly �hooking up� with each other. And of course that was oh-so-healthy. All

right, I can�t talk about it anymore. I really miss the way things were, but I�m also very happy

now. There�s no way that either of them could have given me a healthy stable life like the one I�m

in.